Friday, July 24, 2009

Hair...and how race comes into play.


This happens to be a very HOT topic in the media today..well in my case the (TWITTER) world. The craze has ignited from Solange Knowles (AKA BEYONCE'S LIL SIS) cutting her hair. Now Solange has made her statement on twitter..very humbly saying she no longer wants to be a victim of her hair. After reading the millions of blogs, and responses I decided to give my own opinion on the matter.
(Solange's "new do")

Black women for centuries have battled back and forth about whether to keep it natural, locked, braided, weaved (sew in human hair), pressed (using a hot comb which is heated on the stove top), and the most common of them all; relaxed (a process where a heavy based cream is applied to the hair and left on for at least 30minutes to STRAIGHTEN and change the texture of the hair).

Though these may seem very harsh to a person that has not tried these different treatments..but for some Black women it is a way of life for them. Whatever side you may opt to take or whatever opinion you may have...First and foremost, "Its not your hair"! I would look completely dumb to tell a friend "girl don't perm your hair stick to your roots"...First of all who am I to pass judgement on anyone? And being "black" is not about how nappy your hair is, or how overly processed it is, or not how long your hair bought hair is...Being BLACK is about identifying with your past, remembering the struggle, and focusing on the future and building bridges with PEOPLE. Like it is often said...I am HUMAN first..And black second. Only one race..the human race...Lets break down these claustrophobic barriers that we have grown accustomed to and lets set forth a precedent that "hair" does not define me as a person..it just adds to the beauty that GOD blessed us with.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

One Man's Perspective.....by Mr.Raymar


For most guys and girls the question that seems to always present itself would be: "What are we?" or “How would you introduce me to your friends?” Well, I have broken it down into 3 answers:
1. Dating: Alright now when youre just dating, you have options; you can go out with whoever you want (when you want to) and not have to answer the phone. This is the purest form of playing the field...you enjoy spending time with the other person but that's all it will ever be (a night out every once in awhile). This is what most people are scared to do because guy will be perceived as a player and a girl, just “out there”.
Personally I don’t think there is anything wrong taking your time, meeting new people and with figuring out exactly what you want.
2. Talking: To me this means you two aren't dating anymore an are moving toward something exclusive, you kind of have to be careful! Of course you will want to do all the cute stuff (i.e, late night calls and all of that stuff)...NOTE: but you gotta chill with the "I miss you" and "Im thinking about you" text. If youre saying it just cuz you know that's what they want to hear or youre trying to creep over late night (fine)...but after awhile people start to latch on to those calls and text and when you take them away cuz you start "dating" another girl or guy the other person will feel lost.
The most important thing is dont take the spot of a boyfriend if youre not ready to.
3. Exclusive: If youre committed to someone (it is what it is). If you go for a night out you should not be "scouting for the extras on the side" cuz if you are you playing yaself, which leads to lies and the other games we play when we want the best of both worlds. And yes, that person is allowed to ask you certain questions like "where you going?” "What are you doing tonight?" and you kind of gotta answer...so
if you not ready to answer those questions..you shouldn't be exclusive.
Basically, we lie to ourselves to protect our feelings. If youre feeling the other person that's fine you don't have to prove it by being exclusive, or string them along just so you have something to come home to, the fall back girl/guy who you know will answer ..Just chill..before you make a decision.
The most important thing is don’t act like a girlfriend or boyfriend just because you don’t want to look bad.. You can say NO; at least then they will know where you stand. If you don’t want it don’t take it cuz you can’t just put it back..Just think about it.
*If you having sex with more than one person, although its your business, if your decent you will let the other people know..just be safe..people flip when they think they the only one and you have lead them to believe just that the whole time.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Boyfrient #2??? Yeah right.

What exactly is “Boyfriend #2”?.well my definition is a distraction from the relationship that you probably don’t want to be in anyway. And here is why…

The #2 gets all of the perks that the first boyfriend should get, he doesn’t have to do much.. by the time you call him, all he needs to know is what time you want him to meet up..and ladies FYI that makes YOU the JUMPOFF!!!!

Your actual boyfriend is gonna end up figuring out something is wrong eventually, you might slip up and do something that’s NEW and he’ll be like WHOA, where did she learn that?
With all that energy that you have used hiding and keeping secrets from everyone, you could have probably made your relationship work with you actual boyfriend which happens to be kind of ironic.


Boyfriend #2 will begin to talk mess about your actual dude, and at first you will laugh it off but then you will get defensive..but the better question is..Why should he care what you think, you are the JUMPOFF!

Oh and another FYI: you don’t have control over the situation! you’ll probably get disrespected by your #2 because thats what typically happens to JUMPOFFS!

If you keep up the whole boyfriend #2 thing and keep letting a few dudes get the goods eventually you’ll be flying to New York and will be on Maury, and be “100% sure” he is the father, and if you are an INDEPENDENT WOMAN, or whatever it is that yall females claim to be..To us dudes that’s not a good look.

Now of course it goes both ways but as guys we know that if youre willing to have someone on the side your always gonna be in that position. As a female, you gotta figure out why youre with someone.. if you want to go out and date around that is fine..more power to you, but usually when the Boyfriend #1 and Boyfriend #2 meet or something of that caliber it’s all bad.. Remember the BEAUTYSHOP BRAWL THAT WAS ON CNN FROM OAKLAND, that goes both ways..but thats just my take on it. As long as your honest about who you are and what youre doing you’ll figure it out.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Easy Make Up Tips!!!!


Ladies.Ladies. Ladies. Its no longer taboo to wear make up...I personally am a fan of a long list of cosmetics ranging from the cheap ninety-nine cent products to a DIOR blush for sixty five dollars..(yes make up can break your pockets) lol...Do I need it? No. The question is: Do I like it? YES! Im all about finding ways to enhance already what is... BEAUTIFUL! Theres no need to be scared of the countless counters in department stores and aisles full of makeup you have no idea how to use.. As longer as you PRACTICE and learn the proper TECHNIQUE you will have it down in no time! From a nude lip to dramatic eyes for a dinner party these rather simple tips should help along your journey.


LOVEY DOVEY (KISS KISS KISS)


1. Pick the right shade please ladies!!! What most of us do: Swipe a possible new color on the back of our hand to see if it flatters. A better idea, Test the lipstick on your fingertip — that way, you can hold the color next to your face to see how it looks. (No mirror? Your finger is still a better gauge, since it's similar in color and texture to your lips.)


2. Get buff.For the prettiest finish, run your toothbrush over your lips to exfoliate any dry skin (a damp paper towel also can do the job). Post-scrub, lipstick will glide on without caking.


4. Extend the life of your lipstick. So you'd like your color to last through lunch, but you don't like the feel of long-wearing formulas? Apply a coat of regular lipstick, then press it with a single-ply tissue and powder lightly (over the tissue) with a puff or brush. This sets the color and prevents running and feathering.


BEAUTIFUL EYES!


1. Fight those droopy (not so sexy eyes)!!!Lightly shade the area just above the arch of your brow with a nude or white liner and blend! This will light up your face and create the illusion of higher brows and lids, which is great for droopy or tired eyes.


2. Smudge-proof your liner.Apply it with a pencil or a tiny brush, then trace over the line with a matching powder shadow. To make it last even longer: Wet your shadow brush with Visine first.



3. Make your eyes look larger.Place a lash curler at the roots of your lashes, then slowly "walk" it out to the tips, pressing as you go...Make sure



4. Outsmart your mascara. Love the waterproof kind but hate wrestling to remove it? Apply a coat of regular mascara first, the waterproof.


5. Widen your eyes.To look more refreshed, use white or nude eyeliner — but this time, below your eyes, not above. Pull down gently on your undereye and trace the line between the lower lashes and the inside rim. Stop before you reach your tear ducts.


KEEP THAT SKIN LOOKING FLAWLESS!!!


1. Conceal flaws....A full face of foundation, too much concealer,can look and feel unnatural. Use cover-up only where you need it (and, where you don't, letting your own skin shine through). Blend.

2. Try a soft touch.Your ring finger is the perfect tool for applying makeup! The more powerful index finger may apply color too boldly or tug too much on skin.

3. Look luminous.Every face has natural shadows, and you'll look better if you brighten them. To find the shady spots; just smile at yourself in the mirror. You should be able to see all of the darker areas — like your Cupid's bow, under the bottom lip and around the inner corners of your eyes. To lighten, dab on nude eye shadow. Blend if necessary.

4. Give yourself a mini face-lift!!! (for the BeautyMark "matured")Apply blush starting at your upper cheekbone (at the hairline near your ear) then brush across your cheek horizontally — not diagonally or downward — until you get to the center of your face. When your blush is darker at your hairline you appear to look younger!!!